Sometimes we ask for the wrong things.

I remember one childhood Christmas, long ago and in another galaxy. My older brother asked for a 10-speed bicycle. My sister asked for a Barbie’s Dream House. My middle-child sensibilities kicked in and, recognizing our family’s modest income, I didn’t ask for anything in particular – it was long ago, but I think I was just trying to be the “nice boy” – I must have recently heard a Bible lesson or something about greed.

Christmas morning came and, in keeping with family tradition, we saw three unwrapped gifts beside the tree when we were allowed into the living room. My brother found himself a new, root beer-colored 10-speed bicycle. My sister found Barbie’s Dream House. I found a croquet set. I was a bit disappointed but quickly learned an important lesson – what one asks for is important. And, lest you suspect otherwise, my parents are, and were then, wonderful. 

A while back, I heard a sermon from Matthew 20:29-34 in which Jesus healed two blind men he encountered along the road from Jericho. As Jesus passed by, they repeatedly shouted at him, “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!”[1]

They kept asking the Son of God to extend mercy to them, but that was not what they really wanted. Jesus could have extended mercy to them in many different ways, but he knew what was in their hearts and minds and asked, “What do you want me to do for you?” Their answer? “We want our sight.” That’s a lot different than asking for “mercy.” They had sought the Messiah’s ear by asking for the wrong thing. They received the mercy they asked for when Jesus asked them the question.

Recently, during my prayers, I was asking God to grant me wisdom and discernment in providing guidance and recommendations for some churches experiencing very difficult situations. I have prayed that prayer a lot. It sounded good to me, but I felt very unfulfilled in my soul as I prayed those words. It dawned on me that my use of churchy cliché language was causing me to ask for something that was valuable (like God providing mercy to the blind men), but the thing I was asking for was not what I really wanted (like the blind men wanting to be able to see). 

What I really wanted was for the churches to be healed, become healthy again, and be a witness for Jesus Christ and the gospel in their community. I wanted the church’s leaders to be godly, strong, and courageous. I wanted Satan and other enemy spiritual forces to be banished. I wanted fractured relationships to be restored. I wanted repentant hearts. I wanted forgiveness. I wanted the fruit of the Spirit to be evident in the lives and gatherings of the people. I wanted “come to Jesus” moments to occur all over the place. And I wanted to be used by God to be a part of those outcomes in his strength and wisdom rather than my own. But, since I wasn’t asking for those things, my prayers felt pretty empty and lifeless. How much better I felt when I poured out my heart before God and asked him for the things I deeply wanted and could not provide on my own. 

When Jesus asked the blind men what they wanted him to do, they could have again asked for mercy – they were already accustomed to doing that. But hearing Jesus’s question clarified the situation for them, so they then answered, “We want our sight.” And Jesus miraculously gave it to them.

What we ask from God matters, and it’s something to talk about. Here are some ideas to talk about with your team.

• When we pray together or alone, have we been specific in sharing our dreams with God, or have we begun to pray in “church-speak” – uttering sanctified words that lacked power and emotion?
• When we pray publicly, are we as specific as circumstances allow, or do we fall into that same trap? What changes might we need to make?
• When we pray are we committed to doing what God reveals to us? Or might we be non-committal, “double-minded” as James 1:8 describes it, persons that “should not expect to receive anything from the Lord”? 

The story of Naaman, the leper, in 2 Kings 5:1-14, comes to mind. He traveled far having heard of the possibility of being healed by the prophet Samuel in Israel. Yet when he heard Samuel’s instruction to wash himself in the Jordan River seven times to be healed, he contemptuously said he would not do so. Expecting a grand and spectacular miracle worthy of a man as worthy as he thought of himself, he angrily headed home until his servants urged him to follow Samuel’s simple solution which resulted in his healing.

Sometimes, we expect the answer to our prayers to be some huge thing when the answer from God lies in a simple thing such as trusting in the Lord for the outcome, not gossiping, releasing bitterness and envy, telling the truth, or similar simple calls to obedience. Unhealthy churches often pray for miracles rather than the courage to be obedient in living out the Great Commission and the Greatest Commandment.

What are some of the things we are praying for in our church? Are we asking only for big things at the expense of the simple things that make up obedient lives lived well? Are we asking God to miraculously heal our church despite our disobedience or unfaithfulness rather than simply doing the things he has already told us to do?

• Consider asking yourself or your team from time to time what you would say should God verbally respond to your prayers with, “What do you want me to do?” How would you respond? What would you ask of Him? What is it that we truly want God to do?

I have found that being more specific and less “churchy” in my prayers has been beneficial. My prayers are richer and deeper – my faith is tested – I can more easily determine when the answer is “yes” or ‘no.” I feel more connected to God and dependent upon Him when I do so. I believe you and your church will find the same to be true. Let’s figure out how to ask God for the right things – being real with God about the things we really want. That’s something to talk about among ourselves and whenever we talk to Him.

Let us know if we can help and how your conversation goes. Contact Bob Osborne by e-mail at bob.osborne@efca.org. 

This is one of a series of articles intended to facilitate and guide church leaders’ conversations about significant issues that often are not talked about among pastors, boards, and church leadership teams. Visit the EFCA West website to see prior Something to Talk About articles.