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Getting the Message Right When It Really Matters

Church leaders are in the communication business. What we say or don’t say speaks volumes among those we serve as leaders.

I recently read an article in a magazine for police executives about communications with the public and media related to critical incidents.[1] I’ve been out of that profession for about 12 years, but still check out the magazine. The article provided advice about getting the desired message out to the public and media and doing it well. And no, it was not about covering up anything, but rather making sure the information communicated was delivered well and in a way that spoke clearly and accurately.

As I read the article, I knew that I would sooner or later need to write about it because pastors and church leaders are in the communication business, too. And there are times when getting our message right is more critical than at other times – usually because of the nature of the event that has caused the need to communicate to arise. The more I thought about it, the more I knew that it was something to talk about.

Unfortunately, church leaders and board members typically have very few if any routine conversations about communications in advance of a critical incident requiring the best of our communication. These are make-or-break situations for a church, events that may affect the church for good or bad for years to come. When such an occasion arises, church leaders too often create their communications strategy on the fly. And too often the communication is poorly done. We need to do better.

Critical incidents for a church include disasters such as earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, fires and floods. But they also include other types of events. More often than these disasters, the critical incidents that occur in churches are those that stir up emotional reactions involving terminations of staff, fiscal shortfalls, moral failures, personnel issues, things said that were poorly said, deaths and serious injuries. Other less people-oriented issues can involve organizational issues such as major initiatives involving budgeting, governance document amendments, reorganizations, missions support changes, etc. 

Because critical incidents typically result in emotional responses, we need to communicate effectively when they occur. When people’s emotions are engaged with an event it can be hard for them to think clearly and factually about what happened and what is next. It is important for leaders to get the message right when it really matters. Here are some thoughts on the topic and ideas for starting your own conversation.

Plan Your Communication

How carefully does the leadership team (collectively and individually) plan your communications? I find it helpful to slow down for a few minutes or longer to ask some questions:

  • Who is the intended audience and who else might receive this?
  • What, precisely, am I trying to communicate?
  • Did I use simple, easily understood language?
  • What questions will my audience have after they receive this that I might answer now?
  • Are there limits to what can be communicated and have I informed people of them?
  • What do I want people to do after receiving the communication?
  • Am I marketing something or providing information?
  • Does your team have other questions that should be asked before sending out critical communications?

Have you ever discussed as a team how you would handle critical events? What might some potential critical events look like at your church? Make a list of the types of things that you might face some day in the future and discuss their potential impacts.

It is important that critical information be consistent among those that speak. Discuss who on your team should communicate what to whom. Remember that the lead pastor may not be the best person to communicate certain types of information.

Communicate Truthfully

What do we tell our church when things don’t go well or when a decision by leadership does not pan out? What is the difference between taking responsibility and making excuses? Give examples of each. Are we prepared to accept responsibility without seeking to place blame? How have we communicated failures, even within the confines of the leadership team?

One of my favorite non-Bible church leadership quotations is attributed to Napoleon. It simply states that the leader’s job is to define reality and offer hope. Too often I find church leaders sanitizing critical communication apparently to save face. This is evident when an event or issue is portrayed as less concerning or important than it is. Stereotypically, this trait of lying and misleading by sanitizing reality is often attributed to politicians, unscrupulous salespersons, and commercials but I frequently see it modeled by church leaders, too.

In addition to the sin and moral issues involved, we need to remember that the people who receive our communications can often see right through our duplicity. When the church staff is screaming and throwing things at one another, we ought not say there has been a minor disagreement in the office. Consistently for several decades, the number one trait that people want to see in someone whose leadership they would gladly follow is honesty – simply tell them the truth. Then offer hope.

Think back to a memorable incident at your church – what went through your mind regarding how and what to communicate to the church? What did you eventually communicate, and was it true or sanitized? What would you do differently if you had a do-over?

Not Everything Should Be Communicated

In most critical communications there are some things you should say and some that you should not.

  • What standard do you use to know the difference?
  • On incidents that create questions about what is legal to reveal and what is not, with whom do you confer before communicating?

There are some things leaders cannot communicate. HIPPA information comes to mind as well as most personnel issue specifics. Talk about the things you believe should not be communicated whether a result of laws, Scripture, or just the sense of being wrong. What information and details should be confidential and undisclosed regardless of members’ demands to know? You may want to check with your insurance carrier for help with this as laws vary.

Support Your Decision

I have a confession to make. I often wonder what actually happened when church leaders announce something saying that “the Lord told me” or “the Holy Spirit led us to…” I’m one of those people who believes that God does those things, but when leaders say that it was a significant part of their decision making on a matter while trying to persuade me to approve it, I start to wonder. Exactly how did God confirm that to you and why has he not confirmed that to the rest of us?

My recommendation to church leaders is to avoid justifying a decision with something that cannot be proven or shown to others. Way too often I have seen leaders, including at my own church, announce that God has led them to some decision that ended up terribly wrong. I have a hard time with that. Discuss among your team whether you have used such phrases to buttress decisions. Talk about how you presented a recent ministry initiative or communicated about a significant incident or how it felt when you heard such an announcement. Did it create a sense of confidence in the leadership or create wondering or doubt?

Email & Texting

Email and texts are decent tools for communicating information. They are lousy tools for dealing with conflict and addressing complaints. What do we do when we get a written complaint by email or text – how should we respond? Please trust me on this: sometimes the best response is no response depending upon who is asking the question and why.

I remember some media training that said that not every question deserves an answer. But if you get such a communication from someone with whom you have a connection, the only good reply is, “I received your email/text. When can we connect to talk about it?” Conflicts and complaints are almost never solved or soothed via email or text. Answering in writing tends to harden disagreements rather than soften them. Connect personally to address these issues.

Finally, church leaders are in the communication business. What we say or don’t say and what we do or don’t do speaks volumes among those we serve as leaders. Pausing to carefully plan how to get the message right when it matters most is important and something to talk about. Let’s have those conversations.

Let us know if we can help and how your conversation goes. Contact Bob Osborne by e-mail at bob.osborne@efca.org

This is one of a series of articles intended to facilitate and guide church leaders’ conversations about significant issues that often are not talked about among pastors, boards, and church leadership teams. Visit the EFCA West website to see prior Something to Talk About articles.

1

Police Chief, February 2024: Getting Messaging Right When It Really Matters.

Bob Osborne

Bob Osborne is the director of church health for EFCA West. He is passionate about equipping, encouraging and strengthening church leaders: “Our good intentions are not enough; we actually need to implement them.”

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