The Jagged Shape of Surviving

A Rare Guide for Those Living Alongside Chronic Pain 

By Rachel Gray 

Suffering comes in many forms, and while we often focus on the person directly affected, Disrupted Journey: Walking with Your Loved One Through Chronic Pain and Illness by Nate Brooks turns our attention to those walking closely alongside the sufferer—spouses, family members and friends whose lives are deeply shaped by ongoing pain they cannot fix. 

Brooks, writing with compassion forged through personal experience, offers a quiet yet powerful companion for readers navigating the often-invisible pain of caregiving. His words speak directly to the unique sorrow of those whose lives are intricately woven into another’s chronic suffering—not as a passing “season,” but as a new, enduring climate. 

The book challenges a cultural and, at times, Christian tendency to “pretty-up” suffering. Brooks does not offer platitudes or tidy spiritual answers. Instead, he invites the reader into a faithful wrestling with God—a posture we see reflected in Scripture—and in real lives marked by enduring hardship. He encourages the formation of community, reminding us that God never intended for us to walk these painful roads alone. 

One of the most moving aspects of Disrupted Journey is how it gives voice to the caregivers—people often overlooked in stories of pain. Brooks allows caregivers to feel seen, validated and understood. He offers practical wisdom while holding space for mystery, recognizing that some suffering may never be fully explained this side of heaven. As he writes, “Good things await; however, that future experience of goodness doesn’t entirely smooth over all my questions now.” 

Although written for a Christian audience, the book's themes of endurance, grace and community will resonate with all readers. For some—especially those not yet ready to face their new reality—the book may feel premature. Prayerful discernment should be used in sharing this book with others; acceptance, after all, can feel like surrender for those still grieving what was lost. 

For those in ministry, whether lay or professional, Disrupted Journey offers invaluable insight. Early in the book, Brooks shares how he and his wife went from being highly involved in church life to becoming largely invisible due to chronic pain. His reflections challenge churches to rethink what “involvement” looks like and to support those who feel like they no longer fit the mold of expected service. “It’s not your beliefs that set you apart,” Brooks writes. “It’s that your life pattern is an entirely different shape—the jagged shape of surviving.” 

This is not a book of easy resolutions, but that’s precisely its strength. In a world desperate for neat answers, Disrupted Journey honors the complexity of living alongside pain—and, in doing so, becomes a rare and grace-filled guide for those who do. 

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Excellent Exploration of Suffering That Misses an Opportunity 

By Andrew Redmann 

In Disrupted Journey, Nate Brooks’ life has been permanently disrupted by chronic illness. A counseling professor at Southeastern Baptist Seminary, he uses the story of his wife’s acquired chronic pain as a deeply personal backdrop to contemplate suffering. In one passage that sets the tone for the book, he notes, “The first prayer my two-year-old daughter uttered on her own was ‘God, Mommy feel better?’” This toddler’s prayer serves as the thesis for the entire book— God, will you make our loved ones feel better amid chronic unrelenting pain and suffering? This is a question, not a statement, and frames the rest of the book.   

Brooks traces important themes on suffering that have been sadly neglected in Christian writing. First, he notes that chronic illness is often permanent, and the well-meaning “this is just a season” response can be damaging. Second, in perhaps the strongest portion of the book, he says our natural response as a caregiver is the self-pitying, “I didn’t sign up for this.” He continues, “Of course you signed up for this” when thinking back on his vow of “For richer or poorer, in sickness and health.” 

The marriage vow argues for faithful presence even in difficult circumstances. As in the psalms of lament, we can mourn the tangible losses we experience due to chronic pain and understand how our relationships with both the sufferer and others around us are permanently impacted due to the limitations of the broken bodies of our loved ones. Put simply, there will be limitations on our life when we care for those with chronic illness, something that is often neglected and must be considered in counseling situations. As Brooks writes, “God doesn’t ask us to understand his plan; he asks us for faith.”      

There are a few weaknesses to the book. Specifically, Brooks missed an opportunity to focus on the suffering of Jesus. Martin Luther famously contrasts a “theology of glory” with a “theology of the cross,” and while Brooks deftly skewers theologies of glory as “the emotional prosperity gospel,” apart from a brief (albeit excellent) mention at the end of the book regarding hope due to Christ’s return, I craved the hope we have in Jesus being more interwoven through the entire work. Brooks does include a clear gospel presentation as an appendix, but I felt it lacked the centrality it deserves. 

In conclusion, Brooks weaves his own personal and relatable experiences with an unflinching gaze at chronic illness, something often neglected in Christian writing. It shows his skill as a counselor. His book is an excellent, practical exploration of how to love those around you suffering from chronic illness and would be useful in counseling situations and as a handbook for caregivers and friends.