The Bruises (and Triumphs) of Discipleship

How do you help people grow as disciples in their earliest days of faith?  

This is the question we at Northside Neighborhood Church (EFCA) are always asking ourselves. In our first three years, we experienced many bumps on the way of making disciples, which were somewhat avoidable. During the past ten months, however, we have seen a simple discipleship strategy lead to significant growth in the lives of a few converts.

What I am about to share is not a groundbreaking invention; it is a simple method that could be used by any church to help new believers grow as disciples of Jesus Christ. 

The problem 

When we first started baptizing people, our process involved a one-time meeting with me as the church planting pastor. This proved insufficient in discerning the baptism candidate’s authenticity and understanding of who Jesus is and what it means to follow Him. After having a couple of baptism services, we shifted to lengthening the process to three meetings, where the baptism candidate would work through larger portions of Scripture.  

The readings and discussions focused on places in Scripture that lay out the gospel clearly and also places that are particularly controversial to the average person in our context, giving them an opportunity to count the cost of following Jesus. This was a great improvement, but it was still lacking. On several occasions, we would see people take tremendous leaps in their discipleship only to struggle immediately after their baptism. We realized we were failing to provide an ongoing relational, discipleship infrastructure to help them grow.  

So, after at least three meetings with a pastor, the person would get baptized and we would say, “Now, join a Bible study. You will love it, and it will help you grow.”  

Unfortunately, we did not do a good job helping these new believers join a group. For those of us accustomed to evangelical church life, joining a Bible study is quite easy. But for someone brand new to church life, this is often not the case––many are concerned that they won’t fit in or that they aren’t theologically sharp enough.  

Even for those who did join a Bible study, we realized their young faith needed some extra attention, so we tweaked our process and have seen wonderful results. The solution is so simple, I am a little embarrassed to be writing an article about it. 

First, we invited a mature Christian into the baptism process. The yet-to-be-baptized person would meet with a pastor and another person (of their same sex) in the church. The non-pastor joins this process knowing it will likely be an ongoing commitment. At some point, after it is determined that the candidate will be baptized, the non-pastor invites the candidate to continue meeting.  

This became our “discipleship group,” which is a group of two-to-four people. The two who begin meeting are welcome to invite more into the group if they identify a person who would enjoy growing in Christ with them. The point of these gatherings is simple: Help a new (or under-discipled) Christian grow.  

This simple process leans on two things that the EFCA holds dearly: the sufficiency of Scripture and the priesthood of all believers.  

The sufficiency of Scripture 

It is not uncommon to see people emotionally respond to the experience of a Sunday morning service. It is not rare to see a person ready to follow Jesus before counting the cost. This was as true in the First Great Awakening as it is today. Seeing this, Jonathan Edwards noted that a genuine revival occurs “when this spirit operates to bring about a greater regard to the Scriptures and establishes them more in their truth and divine origin.” The truly converted person has ears for the Holy Scriptures.  

As church leaders, we are fortunate to live in a time with such a great wealth of resources. There are many podcasts, video series and devotional books to read. As wonderful as many of these are, none will grow a Christian like reading the Bible. Let not our great wealth of theological or devotional resources lead us to become second-handers of God’s precious and powerful Word.  

One young brother I discipled after his first reading of the Book of John once said, “I usually don’t like books. But for some reason, I am attached to this one.”  

The priesthood of all believers  

I’m not a unique church planter. Like many church planters, I am drawn to evangelistic conversations. Striking up conversations comes easily to me. It took me a long time (at least it felt like it!) to realize that most people are not like me.  

I enjoy getting to know people and introducing them to Jesus. I often struggle with ongoing appointments with the same individual(s). Most people seem to have the opposite inclination. The idea of “stranger evangelism” sounds frightening, but being in a group with the same people for months and months is comforting. Rather than being frustrated with people for not doing more evangelism or being disappointed in myself for not having more tenacity, I have learned to leverage my strengths and the strengths of my brothers and sisters for the glory of God.  

We have, thus far, not felt the need to micromanage discipleship groups. When a potential leader asked for an example, I told him, “Meet at least twice a month. Talk about what the person read in the Bible.” That’s it. So far, it’s been that simple. We are finding that many new (and under-discipled) Christians just need someone to check in with them as they develop the habit of Bible reading.   

A success story 

In January, I went to a public place to work on my sermon. At the table behind me, there was a young man with a notebook. I have a rule: If I see a man with a physical book or notebook, I ask him about it. In our digital age, finding people who use ancient things called pen and paper is often a sign that they are open to ancient wisdom.  

I introduced myself, and he was interested that I was a pastor. I asked him if he had a faith tradition. He told me he was raised an atheist but was reconsidering. He had recently read Proverbs and Isaiah. We spoke about Jesus for a bit, and I invited him to join us for worship the next day. Then we scheduled a time to talk more on Tuesday.  

After it became evident in our second or third meeting that this brother had experienced conversion, he asked, “What now?” I told him about the baptism (and church membership) process. After our time together, I called a brother from the church and asked if he would disciple this new brother. He made it clear to me that this is exactly how he wants to use his time: “There are few things I would enjoy more than meeting with a young man who wants to grow in his understanding of the Bible.” 

On Sunday, March 23, this brother was baptized. The other man in our church is continuing to meet with him, and we are already seeing him grow in the Lord.  

Marks of a discipleship group leader 

Below are the marks we have identified for a discipleship group leader: 

Consistency  

Is he/she consistently involved in the life of Northside Neighborhood Church? We do not want someone to lead a discipleship group if he/she is simply “having a good few months.” While these are small groups, it is no small task to guide others. A person who leads a DG must reveal a track record of following the Lord through the ups and downs of life. 

Teachability  

How many times have you heard a story of a church split that happened at the small group level? I’ve heard more than a few stories of small group leaders spreading their unhappiness with the church to their groups. If a leader is not teachable, these groups have the potential to create church conflict.  

Still, there is another danger: people only interested in theology as a hobby. We do not want the young believers in our church to become obsessed with third-tier theological particulars. As an EFCA church, we want to major on the majors.  

It is not necessary for a DG leader to be a theological giant, just teachable. As pastors, we need to equip these leaders to lead well by being available to answer questions and offer ongoing coaching. A DG leader who responds to a question with, “I don’t know,” shows teachability. This teachability can be passed on to those they are discipling.   

Bible basics 

While the DG leader need not be a theological giant, he/she must have a grasp on some fundamentals. We want a DG leader to be able to give a clear answer when a person asks, “What does it mean to ‘repent and believe’?” A person who is unsure of the importance of the doctrine of the Trinity, for example, would not be a good DG leader. While they don’t need to know the word “hermeneutics,” they do need to understand that the Bible is a collection of books written in different genres.   

A simple boundary here is church membership. We would not have a DG leader who is not a member of our church. If you are a member of our church, you have heard the EFCA Statement of Faith. (Though maybe some churches would pursue a fuller level of theological training by requiring DG leaders to grow through a course or several courses before leading a DG. That might be a good idea.) 

Still, remember the point above: teachability is a requirement for every DG leader. It is not necessary for a DG leader to take one class and cease their training. Better than that is for the pastors (elders) of the church to continue equipping these leaders for ministry in an effort to build up the body. 

Relational fit 

We do not want to put people with a DG leader they do not like. If the two people don’t want to be around one another, the DG will not work––you cannot lead people who don’t like you. A nice person with theological acumen will not be able to effectively disciple a person who does not like them.  

Let me give you an example of how this looks: A woman shared with me about her desire to grow as a Christian. I told her about our DGs, and asked her, “Are there any women at the church you sense a connection with?” She gave me a couple of names, and I reached out to the woman I thought was most qualified to lead her DG.  

Taking into account relational fit as we put these groups together is a basic act of kindness. Would you want to feel obligated to regularly meet with a person you don’t like? I wouldn’t, even if my reasons for not liking them did not seem reasonable.  

How we found discipleship group leaders 

When our pastoral team (elder team) decided to use this strategy to help new (and under-discipled) Christians in their earliest days of faith, we made a list of leaders we believed fit into the marks above. We did not announce this strategy to the church. There are people on our list who do not know we have discipleship groups. When someone comes to faith or communicates a need for more personal attention, we consider who on our list would connect well with that person. We discovered most people are honored and grateful to come alongside a person as they walk with Christ.  

A friendship centered on Jesus Christ 

In June 2024, Alyssa brought her daughter to Vacation Bible School. The first night I met her, she was in tears, telling me about her abusive relationship. She asked to be baptized a few months later.  

Lindsay joined the baptism process. The three of us met three times. During these meetings, it became clear that Alyssa experienced new birth in Christ. This was evident by her joy in the Lord and her objective acts of repentance. At our third meeting, I told her that I would be honored to baptize her.  

After communicating the details of the upcoming baptism service, I asked Alyssa if she would like to continue meeting with Lindsay. She smiled at that suggestion. These two sisters have been meeting weekly for several months now. Alyssa is growing in the Lord as Lindsay encourages her in these early days of discipleship.  

When Alyssa has questions about what she is reading in the Bible, Lindsay is there. When she is worried about her children and needs someone to pray with her, Lindsay is there.  

These two women aren’t engaging in a formal program. They have something even more wonderful: A friendship centered on Jesus Christ.  

I pray Alyssa will someday be walking with someone like Lindsay is walking with her now.